Three funny things happened recently with my 16 month old daughter. Funny is a relative term of course. All of these things were funny only because my daughter did them and she’s super cute and she gets away with everything. Also, they were only funny after the fact.
Hilarious Event Number One: My daughter was watching tv and eating a piece of toast. She always runs back and forth like a nut, because she can’t sit still for even two seconds. I wasn’t surprised when she disappeared behind the loveseat and then reappeared and beelined over to hubby saying, “Dad, Dad!” She has her arm out and hubby figures that she’s done eating her toast and is handing him the leftovers. Hubby holds his hand out and takes the “toast,” only to realize that it’s cat vomit! EEEWW! He screamed like a girl and flew up off the couch faster than I ever thought possible. My daughter’s eyes went all wide and shocked, like, “What? What’s going on? What did I do?” I guess one of our kitties realized that it had been a few days since we’d cleaned up cat vomit and barfed behind the loveseat. My daughter was the first one find it and she thought Dad should have it. What a sweet gift to give her Daddy! I only wish I had it on video, so I could blackmail him with that high-pitched scream later.
Hilarious Event Number Two: The other day I learned that parents aren’t the only people who need to watch what they say around a toddler who’s learning to talk. I was at a girlfriend’s home when another friend dropped by to visit. He was telling a story of how he told his niece that if she didn’t do what she was supposed too, he would jokingly “…whoop her butt.” The niece then promptly replied, “Butt! Butt!” Well, my daughter was listening and when he finished telling the story, she looked right at him and said, “Butt!” I turned and said, “What? What did you just say!? “Butt! Butt!” Oh no. No no no no no. That is not a good word for her to learn! I turned and thanked him for teaching my daughter such a wonderful new word to add to her growing repertoire. He has now taught two little girls to use this classy word. Gee, thanks. In the back of my mind, all I could think was that the next time my mom is visiting, that will be the first thing her sweet, little granddaughter says. She’ll go barreling up to her and say, “Butt!” I can just picture the look on my mom’s face. Oh the horror…
Hilarious Event Number Three: I personally don’t find this one hilarious at all, but my hubby sure seemed to think was funny. (After the fact…) I had put my daughter in the tub for her nightly bath. My feet were killing me from wearing heels all day, so I had them in the tub with her. She thought that was great, because my feet kept “getting” her and tickling her belly. So there we are laughing and having a peachy good ol’ time, when all of the sudden she stops and concentrates. Oh shit! LITERALLY! It was absolutely awful. I didn’t know such a tiny person could be such a big pooper. I flew out of the tub and screamed. I know I should be this calm and collected mother, but if you had seen what I saw, you would have hollered too. I had to get the baby out of the tub to clean it, and as soon as I did, she went running down the hallway 90 mph, butt-naked. I went to chase after her, but the cat came in and wanted to play with the “floaties” in the tub. Oh my gosh GROSS! All I could think was, “This can’t possibly be happening!” It all became complete chaos as I’m begging the cat to go away and chasing the baby and yelling for my hubby. He had gone to have a shower, but with all the noise, he came running out in his birthday suit. He was yelling, “What the *#&$ is going on out here!?” Wow. That was madness. If anyone had walked in right at that moment, I can only imagine what they would have thought of us: all of were wet, there’s a naked baby and a naked daddy, and a frazzled, stressed out mommy–all running around, all screaming. That scene was definitely not one that I pictured when I was pregnant and imagining the future of motherhood.
It seems I have joined the ranks of the moms who have ridiculous stories that no one ever believes until they have kids too. Would I trade even one second of poopy tubs, tantrums, embarrassing mommy moments, screaming and chaos? Absolutely not. I may get frustrated, but I laugh about it all later. There is so much more happiness than anything else.
Gotta love kids… they make you smile, they make you laugh, and they drive you nuts sometimes too.












